Some Things Need Time
I’ve been thinking about sourdough bread.
Which is probably not where you expected this to start.
But stay with me.
You can’t really rush sourdough.
First, you need a starter.
You feed it.
You wait.
You watch it bubble.
You feed it again.
You wait again.
And even when your starter is finally ready, you still don’t suddenly have bread.
There is mixing.
Resting.
Folding.
Fermenting.
More waiting.
And eventually, after what feels like an unreasonable amount of patience for a loaf of bread, you finally get to put it in the oven.
There are so many things like that.
Cakes that have to cool before you can decorate them.
Dough that needs time to rise.
Things that have to rest or set before you can move on to the next step.
And no matter how impatient you are, there are certain steps you simply cannot skip.
You can’t stand in front of the oven and yell,
Could you please become cake a little faster?
Well, you can.
It just won’t help.
And lately I’ve been wondering if maybe I’ve been doing exactly that with God.
Could You please hurry this up?
Especially when it comes to love.
I’ve waited long enough.
I’ve learned enough.
I’ve prayed enough.
I’ve had enough disappointing dates, enough almosts, enough moments of wondering when it will finally be my turn.
Surely we’re done with the waiting part now?
But maybe I’ve been thinking about time all wrong.
Maybe time isn’t always the annoying space between me and the thing I asked God for.
Maybe sometimes, time is part of the making of it.
I’ve already seen this in other parts of my life.
Things I desperately wanted to happen sooner that, looking back, came together beautifully when they did.
Things I tried to force because I couldn’t understand why God wasn’t moving fast enough.
And then suddenly, later, I could see pieces I couldn’t see before.
Oh.
That’s why that needed time.
And now I’m in another season where I want something very deeply.
I want to know when.
I want to know how.
Sometimes I would really love God to skip a few steps and take me straight to the part I’ve been waiting for.
But maybe there are things happening that I cannot see yet.
Maybe there is growing I don’t know about.
Maybe there are circumstances that haven’t fallen into place.
Maybe there are two lives that are still living completely separate stories before they ever become part of the same one.
I don’t know.
And I don’t want to pretend I know what God is doing behind the scenes.
But I do know this:
Some of the best things in life cannot be rushed.
Healing can’t.
Trust can’t.
Becoming can’t.
Love certainly can’t.
And maybe that’s why I’m starting to see waiting a little differently.
Not as God forgetting me.
Not as my life standing still.
Not even as something I have to become exceptionally good at.
Just as time.
Time that I’m allowed to live while something I cannot see yet may still be unfolding.
I still hope.
I still pray.
I still have days when I would very much like to ask God if we could please speed this particular recipe up.
But I’ve seen what happens when I let Him take His time.
I’ve seen things arrive differently than I imagined and somehow fit better than what I had planned.
So maybe I don’t need to keep checking the oven.
Maybe I can live.
Maybe I can enjoy what is already on the table.
And trust that if God is making something beautiful in this part of my life too,
I don’t want it before it’s ready.