While I wait

Do You See Me?

God,

sometimes I wonder if You really see me. I know I don’t always make the right choices. I settle for men I already know are not good for me.

Not because I believe they are what I deserve, but because they throw me crumbs.

A text. A compliment. A little attention. Just enough to make me feel seen for a moment.

And because I have been starving for so long, I gather every crumb I can find, hoping it will satisfy the hunger in my heart.

For a moment, it almost does.

Until it doesn’t.

The crumbs disappear, the silence returns, and I realize I was never full only distracted from the starvation.

Then the ache comes back, heavier than before.

And I find myself asking the same question again:

When will someone see me? Not for what my body can offer, but for who I am. For my heart. For my kindness.

So today I ask You

Lord, do You see me? Do You see the tears I never tell anyone about? Do You see how tired I am of accepting crumbs while praying for a feast?

Teach me to stop confusing attention with love.

Teach me to believe that I don’t have to beg for what You have already purposed to provide.

And while I wait, help me trust that You are not ignoring me.

You are preparing me.

You are protecting me from the wrong man.

And You are writing a story that will never be built on crumbs.

Because You are a God of abundance, not leftovers.

Amen.