Can I Be Grateful and Still Want More?
Something happened today.
I came across someone I used to be very close to and saw little glimpses of the life she is building.
A relationship.
A home together.
Engagement and wedding ideas saved for someday.
And it did something to me.
I don’t really know what.
It wasn’t pain. It wasn’t that I didn’t want those things for her.
It just touched that little place in me that still wants the same thing.
And suddenly I thought,
God, I still want that too.
I haven’t said that very much lately.
This past month, I’ve mostly been saying thank You.
Because God has been so good to me.
I have felt taken care of. I have felt peaceful. And somehow, after one of the lowest seasons of my life, I feel closer to Him than I have in a long time.
I am grateful.
Truly grateful.
But today reminded me that gratitude didn’t make that old prayer disappear.
It’s still there.
So tonight, I think I just want to bring it back to Him.
Not with a long prayer.
Not with a timeline.
Just honestly.
God, You’ve been so good to me.
You know how grateful I am.
But You also know what happened in my heart today.
You know the prayer I haven’t talked to You about much lately.
It’s still there.
I don’t know what to do with that tonight.
I don’t know if wanting something so deeply takes anything away from how grateful I am for everything I already have.
I just know that both are sitting somewhere inside me.
A heart that looks at God and says,
Thank You for everything.
And the same heart, quietly adding,
But God… I still want this too.
And I guess that’s the question I’m leaving with Him tonight:
Can I be grateful and still want more?